To me coming to Panama has been a truly life changing experience. Not only do I feel as if I have done something worthwhile on my spring break, but I was able to enjoy it with a group of outgoing, intelligent and caring students. Although some may argue that our group came as tourists, I would say that we came as visitors. I think that because we were better educated on panamanian culture, we were able to come here with a more open minds. I cannot recall a point where any of the students acted in a "we are here to help you manner". I believe that everyone in this class came in with good intentions and because of this we able to accomplish a huge amount for the time we were here. From here I would like to give a brief overview of some of the things that we have done that have changed the way I think.
Visiting the Embera tribe was a wonderful first experience in Panama. Being able to learn about their culture and see the beauty of everything that they do on a day to day basis was amazing. However, I cannot go without noticing that the tribe seemed to be was being used more as a tourist attraction than a traditional tribe. Especially when then women started doing their traditional dance, many seemed to be sad or upset when performing it. This really made me think about how the development of panama is slowly making it harder and harder for these kinds of tribes to survive. They can no longer simply survive by traditional means. Instead many tribe members are abandoning their tradition for different opportunities in the city, the government is highly regulating what they can and cannot do and their traditions are slowly disappearing. Overall this experience was amazing, but at the same time I could not help but wonder what the future holds for these tribes.
The second day we visited the beautiful town of El Valle. This was by far some of the most amazing scenery of the entire trip. Being able to go through the mountains and smell the fresh air and see all the beautiful scenery is something that I will never forget. I have to admit that even the therapeutic mud facial left my skin felling soft. But by far one of my most favorite experiences was stepping out of the bus for the first time to take pictures and just feeling the cool mountain breeze as I looked over the cliffs at the mountain tops and clouds. This was by far one of the relaxing and fun parts of the trip for me.
Our third day consisted of the first visit to Nutre Hogar. I don’t think that anything could have mentally prepared me for this experience. To be able to hold a small child and connect with them while doing so is one of the most emotional experiences. I was so happy to see that the child I was caring for was happy to have me there. But one of the saddest things I have ever seen was watching them reach out for you when you set them down in their crib to leave for the day. To know that the child may be crying because they became attached to you and don’t want you to leave is truly a heartbreaking experience. Our next visit to Nutre Hogar was much easier for me than the first. I believe that this was because I knew what to expect when I went in. The second visit was also much easier because when I did leave I was able to put my baby back in the crib and leave with him crying. The weird thing is that when I did put him down at first he did start to cry. But then I grabbed his hand and told him that everything was going to be alright. After this he stopped crying and I was able to leave without him crying. Being able to do something like this at Nutre Hogar is not something which I truly loved doing, but at the same time something which will affect me for the rest of my life...
Our visit to Casa Esperanza was not as sad as the visit to Nutre Hogar until the second day. The first day was fairly normal and short. On the second day we threw a small ice cream part for the kids and just played as much as we possibly could. Playing with the kids was a great experience, but talking to them was a totally different experience. I can't even count the number of times which one of the kids mentioned gangs or violence. What amazes me the most is the fact that a lot of these kids have had so many bad things happen to them, yet they are still so happy. I cannot help but wonder how this is going to affect them later in life. But the most disturbing thing I saw that day was the small group of boys who were acting in a homosexual manner. These children were around 10-12 years old and to even begin to imagine what may have happened to them that influences this kind of behavior makes me sick. Again this was another life changing experience for me even though it is not the exact same as Nutre Hogar. From my experiences at Nutre Hogar and Casa Esperanza I want to do more with my life as a person. Whatever I do in life from here on out I will be affected by what I have experienced in panama. Whether I become a Doctor, Lawyer, Businessman or a bum I want to gather from the experiences I have learned so I can contribute significantly to the needs of society.
The final day spent in panama involved visiting the ambassador and visiting the Miraflores locks. Visiting with the Ambassador was a rare treat because she was able to give us better look at some of the problems which are trying to be resolved in the Panamanian diplomatics. I was very pleased to see that she was aware of these problems and working towards their resolve. The Miraflores locks were a true engineering marvel. Every time I look at them, I am marveled by the amount of work which went into their construction. For me Panama was not just a trip, class or spring break opportunity. It was a collection of experiences which will forever influence the way I think and act. This trip was by far one of the best spring breaks I have ever had.
